themusiciseverything:

“‘Cause it’s not over ‘til it’s over, every ending’s a new beginning, one more chance to get it right, one more chance to get it wrong. It’s not over ‘til it’s over sometimes no where leads to some where and it all starts again, it all starts again in the end…”

Jason Reeves

I never post the same song twice followers. Come to think of it I’ve never re-posted anything twice on this blog; everything has been unique in the time it was shared. That’s always how I wanted it to be, special, different, and something new for the few to discover along the way. Tonight though will be the only exception to this and if I’m honest I can’t think of a better song to leave with. No one has ever inspired me as much as J.R and I know now there’ll never be another writer quite like him.

I’m sorry I haven’t been here for the past few days. I’ve been fairly ill and work is taking its toll on me gradually a little more each time. I don’t feel brilliant as I type this but you deserve for me to write a few words before I go, I wouldn’t feel right leaving any of you in the dark. It’s been a near impossible decision for me but I have finally decided to deactivate Tumblr for good.

It isn’t what it used to be. Every day I scroll my dashboard and all I see are pictures of self conscious, shallow teenage girls trying to impress a world they don’t even understand. Hipster photos, painfully edited in an attempt to receive as many notes as possible. Suicide notes, text passages of people putting themselves down, memes etc there’s no beauty any more. No substance. Just nothing I knew in the early days I started.

I know there are the few who still care about not just themselves but they are so hard to find now I just don’t know where to look. This place doesn’t inspire me the way it used to, it makes me sad but I can’t keep lying to myself like this. It’s difficult to really express myself openly and honestly every day of my life on this blog if I can’t find the right way to do it. It’s become a chore more so than an escape.

Don’t look on this post with sadness though followers. In the past you’ve all been wonderful. Those of you I have spoken to gave me so much hope in the times that were. I will miss you, I mean I realise I don’t know you but seeing how your lives are too is something I’ll find hard to leave behind. There’s always been that faint sense of connection round here even if not everyone saw it.

I’m not going to edit this post a single bit. It’s as honest as I can make it, word for word as I type it. I doubt it will get “likes” or “reblogs” but that sort of stuff never really bothered me, I just wanted to share my emotions with the world; something that felt more fulfilling when others did the same. I don’t want to be a part of this now that I’ve seen the way it’s finally become.

The past year and a half has been the most amazing experience imaginable though. The day I saw Olivias blog; I never thought for a second I’d write as much as I have on here. It drew me in without me noticing, perhaps I was meant to start themusiciseverything? If something I posted in the history of its existence meant anything to anyone it was always worth the creation.

I guess my Tumblr shirt Charlie will become a very precious souvenir now! I’ll always remember this web site though, I’ve met some wonderful people through it and last year would have turned out very differently if I hadn’t. Most of all as a result of the music I’ve found through it, if it weren’t for all of you I wouldn’t know half the music I do at this point.

There isn’t much else to say now other than good bye. I’m sorry if some of you will miss me but remember life goes on and finding this blog was just another chapter of that life. So thank you so much from every single piece of my heart to all one hundred and seventy eight of you, you’ve saved my life more times than you could possibly know. Always see that you are all beautiful in your own way and you should never let anyone show you how to live your lives.

Approach each day without fear of failure or consequence. Be spontaneous, ambitious, adventurous. Smile at strangers, make those around you feel the happiness you should always feel. It’s always been and always will be the little things; every small random act of kindness you give will forever change the way a single person treats another. Love with your heart and see the endless colours around you, life is wonderful and if you truly realise as much, perhaps just maybe others will too.

I want to make sure as many of my followers see this before I’m gone so my blog will remain active for another three days. Come Sunday night however I plan to erase all of it. Every personal detail, comment, photo, song, memory etc it’s time to move on to the next stage of my life but the times I’ve had meeting people here will always be unforgettable. Good luck in everything you do Tumblr, take care of yourselves and each other and always remember you are you and no one can ever change that.

Ben

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